英文原文
The Exception Question: 3 Solution Focused Tips
Help your clients uncover non-problem areas in their lives with this solution focused therapy technique. Exceptions - times when problems don't occur, can often be the first step to a solution.
Jeremy and his partner were trying to start a family, so he had every reason to quit smoking, but was finding it difficult. So he’d sought me out. “Tell me,” I said casually, “do you smoke when you’re asleep?” Looking utterly confused, Jeremy blinked a few times before sputtering, “No, of course not!”
Emotional and psychological problems demand our attention, energy, and focus. But to overcome any problem, we ultimately need to direct our attention to identifying and nurturing the capacity we all have to not have the problem. In most cases, there was a time before the problem started. Jeremy certainly didn’t come out of the womb smoking! But there are also current times when the problem takes a day or even an hour off.
So, being a solution-focused kind of a therapist, as well as asking about the problem I ask clients to tell me in detail about the exceptions – the times they don’t experience the problematic behaviour or feeling. The information they provide starts to form the basis of their escape route.
In addition to not being a sleep-smoker, Jeremy told me he didn’t feel the need to smoke on long-haul flights, when visiting a sick friend in the hospital, around his friends’ young children, and when swimming every other day in his local pool. Although he’d come into my office thinking of himself as a ‘compulsive smoker’, we now had four exception times when the behaviour wasn’t compulsive at all.
Here are 3 ways to ask exception questions:
1. Ask about times when the problem pattern doesn't happen
What times can you tell me about when you expected to feel embarrassed, but for some reason you just didn’t? Really think about this... You can ask your client about times they expected to feel angry or sad, to blush, or to feel terrified when flying, but the feeling just didn’t show up for some reason – or not to the degree they were expecting.
2. Ask what was different
We can then ask: What exactly was different about that time? or even: How did you do that? What were you doing differently that time? This helps to locate client resources as early as possible. And by asking how they did that, you imply that the improvement was due to their own actions and help them take credit for the good times.
3. Use presuppositions to help pinpoint resourceful exceptions
When you enquire about exceptions, it’s great to use presuppositions. A ‘presupposition’ is a masterful way of communicating because it precludes doubt by assuming an occurrence can be ‘taken for granted’. It’s a language construct that’s phrased to indicate that something will, is extremely likely to, or already has occurred. For example, “When do you feel calmer?” presupposes that there are times when they feel calmer, as well as presupposing a positive identification of such times.
Dr Milton Erickson believed that “therapy should always be designed to fit the client, not the client to fit the therapy.” Jeremy called me up just after the birth of his first child. “It’s funny, Mark, but I never feel the need to smoke anymore. Sometimes I do think about it when I feel a bit stressed, but then I almost hear a splash in my ears and I’m right back to that calm of being underwater after diving into the pool.”
You and I may know all the psychological theory and practice under the sun, but I think we do well to remember that – ultimately – our clients will find the cure from within.
中文翻译
例外提问：三个焦点解决技巧
帮助您的客户发现生活中没有问题出现的时刻，这是焦点解决疗法的一种技巧。例外——问题没有发生的时候，往往是解决方案的第一步。
杰里米和他的伴侣正试图组建家庭，所以他有很多理由戒烟，但发现很困难。于是他来找我。“告诉我，”我随意地说，“你睡觉的时候抽烟吗？”杰里米看起来完全困惑，眨了几下眼睛，结结巴巴地说：“不，当然不！”
情感和心理问题需要我们的关注、精力和焦点。但要克服任何问题，我们最终需要将注意力转向识别和培养我们所有人都拥有的不出现问题的能力。在大多数情况下，问题开始之前有一个时间。杰里米当然不是一出生就抽烟的！但也有当前问题休息一天甚至一小时的时候。
所以，作为一名焦点解决治疗师，除了询问问题，我还要求客户详细告诉我例外情况——他们没有经历问题行为或感受的时刻。他们提供的信息开始形成他们逃脱路线的基础。
除了不是睡眠吸烟者，杰里米告诉我，他在长途飞行中、去医院探望生病的朋友时、在朋友年幼的孩子周围、以及每隔一天在当地游泳池游泳时，都不觉得需要吸烟。尽管他来到我的办公室时认为自己是一个“强迫性吸烟者”，但现在我们有四个例外时刻，这种行为根本不是强迫性的。
以下是三种询问例外问题的方式：
1. 询问问题模式没有发生的时刻
你能告诉我哪些时候你预期会感到尴尬，但由于某种原因你却没有？真的想一想……你可以询问客户，他们预期会感到愤怒或悲伤、脸红、或飞行时感到恐惧，但由于某种原因这种感觉没有出现——或者没有达到他们预期的程度。
2. 询问有什么不同
然后我们可以问：那个时刻到底有什么不同？或者甚至：你是怎么做到的？那次你做了什么不同的事情？这有助于尽早定位客户资源。通过询问他们是如何做到的，你暗示改进是由于他们自己的行动，并帮助他们为美好时光获得认可。
3. 使用预设来帮助定位资源丰富的例外
当你询问例外时，使用预设非常好。‘预设’是一种高超的沟通方式，因为它通过假设某个事件可以‘被视为理所当然’来排除怀疑。这是一种语言结构，措辞表明某事将会、极有可能或已经发生。例如，“你什么时候感觉更平静？”预设了有时他们感觉更平静，同时也预设了对这些时刻的积极识别。
米尔顿·埃里克森博士认为，“治疗应该始终设计以适应客户，而不是让客户适应治疗。”杰里米在他的第一个孩子出生后打电话给我。“这很有趣，马克，但我再也不觉得需要吸烟了。有时当我感到有点压力时，我确实会想到它，但然后我几乎听到耳朵里有水花声，我立刻回到潜入游泳池后在水下的那种平静。”
你和我可能知道世界上所有的心理学理论和实践，但我认为我们最好记住——最终——我们的客户将从内心找到治愈方法。
文章概要
本文介绍了焦点解决疗法中的“例外提问”技巧，通过三个具体方法帮助客户识别问题未发生的时刻。文章以戒烟案例为例，展示了如何通过询问例外情况（如睡眠时不吸烟、特定场合不吸烟）来发现客户的内在资源。三种提问方式包括：询问问题模式未发生的时刻、询问这些时刻有何不同、使用预设语言引导客户识别资源。文章强调，通过关注例外而非问题本身，客户能够从自身找到解决方案，最终实现行为改变和情绪调节。
高德明老师的评价
1. 用12岁初中生可以听懂的语音来重复翻译的内容
这篇文章讲的是，当我们遇到困难时，比如想戒烟但戒不掉，可以想一想那些“没问题”的时候。就像故事里的杰里米，他以为自己总是想抽烟，但发现睡觉时、游泳时、和朋友小孩玩时，他根本不想抽！治疗师教我们三个好办法：第一，找找那些本来该有问题却没问题的时刻；第二，问问那时候有什么不一样；第三，用“你什么时候感觉更好？”这样的问题来帮忙。这样，我们就能从自己身上找到解决问题的超能力！
2. 焦点解决心理学理论评价
这篇文章精彩地展现了焦点解决短期治疗（SFBT）的核心精髓——从“问题例外”中寻找解决方案。作者通过生动的案例，完美诠释了如何将注意力从问题本身转向客户已有的资源和能力。这种“例外导向”的提问技巧，不仅帮助客户识别那些被忽视的成功时刻，更强化了他们的自我效能感。文章中的三种提问方式（询问例外时刻、探索差异、使用预设语言）都是SFBT中经典的技术，它们共同构建了一个积极的治疗框架，让客户看到改变的可能性早已存在于他们的生活经验中。这种聚焦于解决方案而非问题的视角，正是SFBT能够快速有效帮助客户的关键所在。
3. 在实践上可以应用的领域和可以解决人们的十个问题
例外提问技巧可以在多个领域广泛应用，帮助人们解决各种生活挑战：
（1）在亲密关系中，帮助伴侣发现那些没有争吵、和谐相处的时刻，从而重建沟通模式
（2）在职场压力管理中，帮助员工识别那些工作高效且不感到焦虑的时间段
（3）在亲子教育中，帮助家长注意到孩子表现良好、合作听话的具体情境
（4）在情绪调节方面，帮助抑郁者回忆那些心情平静甚至愉悦的例外时刻
（5）在社交焦虑中，帮助个体发现那些能够自然交谈、不感到紧张的社交场合
（6）在学习困难中，帮助学生找到那些能够专注学习、理解知识的学习环境
（7）在成瘾行为改变中，像文中案例一样，帮助吸烟者识别不需要吸烟的特定情境
（8）在创伤恢复中，帮助受害者回忆那些感到安全、平静的生活片段
（9）在自我成长中，帮助个人发现那些充满自信、行动力强的成功时刻
（10）在团队建设中，帮助团队成员识别那些合作顺畅、效率高的项目经历
这些应用都基于同一个核心理念：每个人都已经拥有解决问题的资源，只需要通过恰当的提问将这些资源发掘和放大。