青少年愤怒管理：五招目标导向干预法

英文原文

Uncontrolled anger comes with a rush of energy that feels unstoppable. Doors slam, fists fly, insults wound. Giving in to the sudden surge of adrenaline that accompanies anger may feel irresistible in the moment, but an angry explosion usually makes a problem worse, not better. Anger management techniques for teens can help them learn to express their anger in a way that serves them rather than hurting them.

Anger is not necessarily a problem in itself. Rather, it can be a valuable source of information that helps us understand who we are, what we like and need, and what’s missing in our lives. However, because anger is uncomfortable to feel and uncomfortable to be around, it is commonly misunderstood and mishandled—and not just by teens. Many adults have learned to suppress or avoid anger (their own or other people’s) without responding constructively to it. As a result, parents don’t always know how to teach healthy anger management skills for teens.

Teen anger issues arise for a variety of developmental reasons. For one, the physical, mental, and social changes that come with adolescence are challenging. Teens have newly pressing emotional needs—to feel accepted and competent, for example. At the same time, they feel a growing urge for independence, which often leads to greater tension with parents. Common triggers for teen anger include feeling disrespected, inadequate, or misunderstood by parents.

But not all anger is a natural part of growing up. Anger can often be a secondary emotion that masks other painful emotions, such as grief, shame, or guilt. When teens are being bullied or excluded by a friend group, for example, they may be too ashamed to share what they’re going through. If they’ve suffered trauma or grief, they may not be ready to deal with the sadness and pain of facing it directly. So the feelings come out as anger instead. Anger can also indicate underlying substance use, loneliness, depression, or suicidal behavior. There are many different types of anger, chronic anger, judgmental anger, passive-aggressive anger, and volatile anger, among others.

Because anger can mask distress or a mental health issue, it’s essential for parents, therapists, or other mentors to help teens get at the root of their anger.

Teens (and people in general) typically have three ways of expressing anger: outward aggression, inward aggression, or passive aggression. When we think of problematic teen anger, it’s usually as an eruption of outward aggression. This is the kind of anger that parents find bewildering and difficult to handle. With peers, it can manifest as physical violence; with teachers and coaches, it can look like belligerence and resisting direction. This form of anger is more common among teen boys.

Teen anger can also be directed inward, or “stuffed.” Stuffing anger can increase guilt, shame, and self-criticism. This, in turn, can lead to behaviors such as disordered eating and self-harm. More typical of teen girls, inward-directed anger can result in smiling depression, a form of depression in which teens appear to be doing well, and even excelling socially and academically, while suffering inside.

Or teens can express anger through passive aggression, also more typical of girls. This might look like making snide comments to parents or exhibiting mean girl behaviors within their friend group.

Whatever the root cause of teen anger or their way of expressing it, anger management techniques for teens begin with an awareness of the anger cycle. Although anger seems to happen in a sudden “whoosh” from trigger to reaction, it actually has discrete stages. Recognizing and decoding the anger cycle through anger management techniques for teens is key for all three types of unhealthy anger habits.

Anger is associated with the “fight or flight” response. This near-instantaneous sequence of hormonal and physiological effects prepares the body to react quickly to threatening situations. The heart starts pounding, the muscles tense up, the senses sharpen, and the breath quickens. And the reflective, rational part of our brain (the prefrontal cortex) disengages in favor of the emotional, survival-oriented amygdala. This is particularly noticeable in teenage brains, which have yet to fully develop.

It can be difficult to identify the stages of anger as they occur because they happen so quickly. But any angry eruption (or the avoidance of anger via shutdown) can be broken down into the following components: triggering event, negative thoughts, beliefs, or interpretations about the event, often irrational, that produce a rush of negative emotions linked with those beliefs or interpretations, whether or not they are true, which are reflected in physical symptoms of those emotions, such as racing heartbeat, clenched fists, or flushed cheeks, which can lead to behavioral reactions, such as fighting, criticizing, or shutting down, based on the sequence of thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations rather than the event itself. An aggressive behavioral reaction can become a triggering event for someone else, continuing the cycle.

The goal of anger management techniques for teens is to slow the process down so they can choose how to respond to a triggering event, rather than reacting automatically. Recognizing the stages of the anger cycle allows a teen to understand how their anger may be related their past experiences or current unmet needs.

With practice, teens can learn to reflect on episodes of anger from a calmer perspective. Hence, they can learn to pause before the behavior stage and choose a way to respond that will serve them better. Anger management skills for teens support them to examine their thoughts, feelings, and sensations. The goal is to gain greater insight into the significance of their anger. Ultimately, this self-understanding will help them more effectively address the true cause of the emotion.

The way a teen deals with anger depends on a variety of factors, including biology, temperament, and life experiences. These factors influence how quickly someone responds to anger, what situations trigger that anger, and how well someone tolerates anger in themselves and others. Over time, these patterned responses become habits. However, these habits can be reshaped through awareness and practice.

Parents, mentors, and therapists can support young people by helping them practice the following anger management techniques for teens: Self-Soothing, Self-Awareness, Rethinking the Situation, Healthy Self-Expression, and Building Resilience.

Self-Soothing: The first task of anger management is to learn how to soothe oneself. The insight that can be gained from anger is literally not available when someone is swept up in an eruption of anger. The fight-or-flight response disengages the rational thinking of the prefrontal cortex. Various relaxation techniques counteract the whoosh of fight-or-flight energy: a playlist of a teen’s favorite music, observing the breath, a progressive relaxation series, a yoga or meditation class, guided visualizations, practicing self-compassion, spending time with pets.

Self-Awareness: Once a teen has cooled down, they can begin the process of reflection, ideally with the help of an empathetic adult. The objective is to be able to identify the different stages of the anger cycle: What was the trigger for their anger? How did what happened differ from their expectations? What thoughts and beliefs did the situation bring up? What emotions were stirred up? What physical sensations did they notice? How did they react to those thoughts, feelings, and sensations with their behavior? Once teens are able to step back and witness the process, they can make more conscious choices about how they express their anger. Awareness puts the brakes on physiological dysregulation. Keeping an anger log is one way a teen can start to notice common triggers and patterns of reaction. Eventually, they may be able to anticipate challenging situations and take steps to avoid their habitual response.

Rethinking the Situation: Once a teen has learned to recognize the stages of the anger cycle, they are ready to imagine alternative possibilities at each stage. This process might include: imagining the triggering event from another person’s perspective, challenging the accuracy of their own thoughts and beliefs, thinking of alternate ways to discharge the energy of their anger (going for a run, for example, or slugging punching bags at the gym), visualizing how the anger cycle could unfold differently if their thoughts about it were different, rehearsing different scenarios for ways to resolve the situation in a way that honors the needs and desires of everyone involved, including their own.

Healthy Self-Expression: When thoughtfully investigated, anger helps us understand who we are, what we like and need, and what’s missing in our lives. Anger as a subject of creative expression can even bring people together, instead of causing conflict. Self-expression is a powerful anger management technique for teens. Forms of healthy expression include: journaling, poetry, songwriting, visual art, talking with a trusted friend or family member.

Building Resilience: It’s far easier to stay emotionally balanced when basic physical and social needs are satisfied. Self-care builds resilience for navigating the anger cycle. These approaches aren’t specifically about how teens can control their anger, but they create a stable foundation for more effectively managing emotions: getting enough sleep (teens need 8-10 hours a night), good nutrition, proven to impact mental health, physical activity to let off steam and improve well-being, positive connections: making time for friendships, relationships with mentors, and volunteering.

Teaching a teen how to control their anger is important. But it’s just one part of a bigger process that also involves helpings teens access the reasons for their anger and heal underlying causes and offer ways to help with anger problems. In order to take those next steps, families may need the support of a mental health professional or a treatment program.

中文翻译

失控的愤怒伴随着一股势不可挡的能量。门被砰地关上，拳头飞舞，侮辱伤人。屈服于伴随愤怒而来的肾上腺素突然激增，在那一刻可能感觉无法抗拒，但愤怒的爆发通常会让问题变得更糟，而不是更好。青少年的愤怒管理技巧可以帮助他们学会以一种对自己有益而非伤害的方式表达愤怒。

愤怒本身不一定是个问题。相反，它可以是一个宝贵的信息来源，帮助我们了解自己是谁、喜欢什么、需要什么，以及生活中缺少什么。然而，因为愤怒让人感觉不舒服，也让周围的人不舒服，所以它常常被误解和处理不当——不仅仅是青少年。许多成年人学会了压抑或避免愤怒（自己的或他人的），而没有建设性地回应它。因此，父母并不总是知道如何教导青少年健康的愤怒管理技巧。

青少年愤怒问题的出现有多种发展原因。首先，青春期带来的身体、心理和社会变化是具有挑战性的。青少年有新的紧迫情感需求——例如，感到被接纳和有能力的需要。同时，他们感到日益增长的独立欲望，这常常导致与父母之间的更大紧张关系。青少年愤怒的常见诱因包括感到不被尊重、能力不足或被父母误解。

但并非所有的愤怒都是成长过程中的自然部分。愤怒常常是一种次要情绪，掩盖了其他痛苦的情绪，如悲伤、羞耻或内疚。例如，当青少年被朋友群体欺凌或排斥时，他们可能因为太羞愧而不愿分享自己的经历。如果他们遭受了创伤或悲伤，他们可能还没有准备好直接面对悲伤和痛苦。因此，这些情绪以愤怒的形式表现出来。愤怒也可能表明潜在的药物滥用、孤独、抑郁或自杀行为。愤怒有许多不同的类型，包括慢性愤怒、评判性愤怒、被动攻击性愤怒和易怒性愤怒等。

因为愤怒可能掩盖痛苦或心理健康问题，所以父母、治疗师或其他导师帮助青少年找到愤怒的根源至关重要。

青少年（以及一般人）通常有三种表达愤怒的方式：外向攻击、内向攻击或被动攻击。当我们想到有问题的青少年愤怒时，通常是指外向攻击的爆发。这种愤怒让父母感到困惑和难以处理。在同伴中，它可能表现为身体暴力；在老师和教练面前，它可能表现为好斗和抗拒指导。这种形式的愤怒在青少年男孩中更常见。

青少年的愤怒也可能指向内部，或“被压抑”。压抑愤怒会增加内疚、羞耻和自我批评。这反过来可能导致行为，如饮食失调和自残。更典型于青少年女孩的内向愤怒可能导致微笑抑郁症，这是一种抑郁症形式，青少年表面上看起来很好，甚至在社交和学业上表现出色，但内心却在受苦。

或者青少年可以通过被动攻击来表达愤怒，这也更典型于女孩。这可能表现为对父母说讽刺的话或在朋友群体中表现出刻薄女孩的行为。

无论青少年愤怒的根本原因或表达方式如何，青少年的愤怒管理技巧始于对愤怒周期的认识。尽管愤怒似乎是从诱因到反应的突然“呼啸”发生，但它实际上有离散的阶段。通过青少年的愤怒管理技巧识别和解码愤怒周期，对于所有三种不健康的愤怒习惯都至关重要。

愤怒与“战斗或逃跑”反应相关。这种近乎瞬间的激素和生理效应序列使身体准备好快速应对威胁情况。心脏开始砰砰跳，肌肉紧张，感官变得敏锐，呼吸加快。而我们大脑中反思、理性的部分（前额叶皮层）会脱离，转而支持情绪化、生存导向的杏仁核。这在青少年大脑中尤为明显，因为青少年大脑尚未完全发育。

很难在愤怒发生时识别其阶段，因为它们发生得太快了。但任何愤怒的爆发（或通过关闭避免愤怒）都可以分解为以下组成部分：触发事件、关于事件的负面想法、信念或解释（通常是非理性的），这些会产生与这些信念或解释相关的负面情绪（无论它们是否真实），这些情绪反映在那些情绪的生理症状中，如心跳加速、握紧拳头或脸颊发红，这可能导致行为反应，如打架、批评或关闭，基于思想、感觉和生理感觉的序列，而不是事件本身。攻击性的行为反应可能成为他人的触发事件，继续这个循环。

青少年愤怒管理技巧的目标是减缓这个过程，以便他们可以选择如何回应触发事件，而不是自动反应。识别愤怒周期的阶段让青少年能够理解他们的愤怒可能与过去的经历或当前未满足的需求相关。

通过练习，青少年可以学会从更平静的角度反思愤怒事件。因此，他们可以学会在行为阶段之前暂停，并选择一种对他们更有益的回应方式。青少年的愤怒管理技巧支持他们检查自己的思想、感觉和感觉。目标是更深入地了解他们愤怒的意义。最终，这种自我理解将帮助他们更有效地解决情绪的真正原因。

青少年处理愤怒的方式取决于多种因素，包括生物学、气质和生活经历。这些因素影响一个人对愤怒的反应速度、什么情况触发那种愤怒，以及一个人对自己和他人愤怒的容忍度。随着时间的推移，这些模式化的反应成为习惯。然而，这些习惯可以通过意识和练习来重塑。

父母、导师和治疗师可以通过帮助青少年练习以下愤怒管理技巧来支持年轻人：自我安抚、自我意识、重新思考情境、健康自我表达和建立韧性。

自我安抚：愤怒管理的首要任务是学会如何安抚自己。当某人被愤怒的爆发席卷时，从愤怒中获得的洞察力实际上是不可用的。战斗或逃跑反应使前额叶皮层的理性思维脱离。各种放松技巧可以对抗战斗或逃跑能量的呼啸：青少年最喜欢的音乐播放列表、观察呼吸、渐进式放松系列、瑜伽或冥想课程、引导想象、练习自我同情、与宠物共度时光。

自我意识：一旦青少年冷静下来，他们就可以开始反思过程，最好是在有同理心的成年人的帮助下。目标是能够识别愤怒周期的不同阶段：他们愤怒的触发因素是什么？发生的事情与他们的期望有何不同？这种情况引发了什么想法和信念？激起了什么情绪？他们注意到了什么生理感觉？他们如何用行为回应那些思想、感觉和感觉？一旦青少年能够退后一步并见证这个过程，他们就可以更自觉地选择如何表达愤怒。意识为生理失调踩下刹车。记录愤怒日志是青少年开始注意常见触发因素和反应模式的一种方式。最终，他们可能能够预测具有挑战性的情况，并采取措施避免习惯性反应。

重新思考情境：一旦青少年学会了识别愤怒周期的阶段，他们就准备好想象每个阶段的替代可能性。这个过程可能包括：从另一个人的角度想象触发事件、挑战自己想法和信念的准确性、思考释放愤怒能量的替代方式（例如，去跑步或在健身房打沙袋）、想象如果他们对愤怒的想法不同，愤怒周期会如何不同地展开、排练不同的场景，以尊重包括自己在内的所有相关人员的需求和愿望的方式解决情况。

健康自我表达：当经过深思熟虑的调查时，愤怒帮助我们了解自己是谁、喜欢什么、需要什么，以及生活中缺少什么。作为创造性表达主题的愤怒甚至可以将人们团结起来，而不是引起冲突。自我表达是青少年的一种强大愤怒管理技巧。健康表达的形式包括：写日记、诗歌、歌曲创作、视觉艺术、与可信赖的朋友或家人交谈。

建立韧性：当基本的生理和社会需求得到满足时，保持情绪平衡要容易得多。自我照顾为驾驭愤怒周期建立了韧性。这些方法并不专门关于青少年如何控制愤怒，但它们为更有效地管理情绪创造了稳定的基础：获得足够的睡眠（青少年每晚需要8-10小时）、良好的营养（已证明影响心理健康）、体育活动以释放压力并改善幸福感、积极联系：为友谊、与导师的关系和志愿服务腾出时间。

教导青少年如何控制愤怒很重要。但这只是一个更大过程的一部分，这个过程还包括帮助青少年了解愤怒的原因、治愈潜在原因，并提供帮助解决愤怒问题的方法。为了采取这些后续步骤，家庭可能需要心理健康专业人士或治疗计划的支持。

文章概要

本文基于关键词“青少年愤怒控制的目标导向干预”，探讨了青少年愤怒管理的五种循证技巧。文章首先指出愤怒本身并非问题，而是提供自我认知的宝贵信息源，但青少年常因发育变化、情感需求未满足或次要情绪掩盖而出现愤怒问题。愤怒表达可分为外向攻击、内向攻击和被动攻击三种方式，均与愤怒周期（触发事件、负面想法、情绪、生理症状、行为反应）相关。目标导向干预旨在减缓愤怒周期，让青少年选择建设性回应。文章详细介绍了五种技巧：自我安抚（如音乐、呼吸放松）、自我意识（识别愤怒阶段、记录日志）、重新思考情境（换位思考、挑战信念）、健康自我表达（艺术、交谈）和建立韧性（睡眠、营养、运动、社交）。这些技巧帮助青少年从愤怒中学习，促进情绪管理和个人成长，最终实现更有效的愤怒控制。

高德明老师的评价